Is it so hard?
by Sillie
Summary: Every leader has his downtimes... Yamachi
1. Every leader shall fall

A/N: All right… It's been a while since I posted something new. I've had these massive writers block; actually, I still have it. This is a story I wrote a moth or 2 ago, but forgot about it. I was shifting through some papers yesterday, and bumped into it again. I'll try to type it out as quick as I can… Hope you guys'll like it…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Digimon or it's characters.

**Is it so hard?**

Yamato Ishida couldn't count anymore how often he had glanced ahead. But he was worried. Very worried.

He and the rest of the Digidestened where walking through the Digital world, as usual. Tai up front, and the rest following. But something wasn't right…

Usually Tai was talking all the time, almost bouncing with energy, driving Matt absolutely crazy. But not now. Tai was actually dragging his feet, and he hadn't spoken to anyone for hours.

Tai was walking a bit ahead of the group, so Matt couldn't see his face. He really wanted to see Tai's eyes. They where truly the windows to his soul, as you could see everything in them…

Something was wrong, Matt could just feel it. If he was honest with himself, something had been wrong for about 2 weeks now.

Tai had been leading the group as always, when they had stumbled upon a large group of angry Digimon. The Digimon had attacked them, while their own Digimon where unprepared, and still in their rookie form. They had narrowly escaped.

Afterwards, Matt had blamed the incident on Tai, claiming, as always, that he was a bad leader. Tai had attacked him, and they had a fight.

After the fight, Matt had felt guilty. It wasn't Tai's fault they had encountered those Digimon. Somehow, he always ended up fighting with the other boy, even though he had told himself time and time again not too.

But as the week went by, he had forgotten about the fight. Tai had started to pay extra attention to everyone, and nothing unexpected had happened. Tai was always alert, and very careful. So Matt thought everything was all right.

Matt didn't notice Tai didn't smile as often as he did before. He did notice when Tai became more silent, and that was when he'd started to worry. And when Tai had become even more silent, and even distant, he got really worried.

Something was wrong, but he couldn't find out what it was. So he kept a close eye on Tai, and that is where they where now.

Matt glanced at Tai again, and suddenly saw him stumble. He rushed to Tai's side, and grabbed Tai's arm. "Taichi! Are you all right?"

"I… I'm fine…" Tai mumbled, and he shrugged Matt's hand off his arm. He didn't look at Matt.

"Taichi…" Matt pleaded, "why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong…" Tai said, and he started to walk again. Matt growled, and grabbed Tai's arm again. That boy could be so impossible sometimes! He whirled Tai around, and looked straight in Tai's stunned face. Then he gasped.

Tai looked horrible! How could he not have noticed all this time? Tai's face was pale, and he had bags under his eyes. But what scared Matt the most, where Tai's eyes. Usually, they sparkled, full of life. But now, they where dull, and Matt could see a hint of pain and defeat…

He didn't had long to marvel about it, because Tai clenched his eyes shut, and grabbed Matt's shirt tightly. Matt grabbed Tai's shoulders to steady him a bit. "Taichi, what's wrong!?"

"I-I'm… feeling a bit d-dizzy…" Tai whispered. Suddenly, Tai's knee's buckled, and he collapsed against Matt.

"Taichi!" Matt screamed as he grabbed Tai tighter. He then lowered him gently to lie on the floor. He heard the others gasp and whisper in panic as they saw their leader fall.

Joe rushed over, and dropped to his knees beside him. "What happened?"

"I-I don't know… I'm not sure…" Matt stuttered. "I just grabbed his arm and whirled him a-around. H-he grabbed my shirt and said he was f-feeling dizzy… and then he just collapsed!"

Joe nodded, and grabbed Tai's arm to check his pulse. "Hmm… His pulse isn't very strong."

Joe started to examine Tai, probing and feeling for any injuries. When he trailed his hands over Tai's chest, his eyes widened a little.

Matt, who was watching Joe's reactions intently, noticed. "What's wrong?"

Joe swallowed, and slowly lifted Tai's shirt a little. Matt gasped… Tai was so thin! You could count his ribs… Joe quickly finished his examination, while Matt watched on in stunned silence.

He snapped out of his thoughts when Joe coughed to get his attention. Matt looked up to look into Joe's worried face.

"What's wrong with him Joe?" Matt asked, "Why is he so thin?"

Joe sighed. "Well… obviously, he hasn't eaten enough. And he didn't drink enough too, cause he's dehydrated. Looks like he didn't get enough sleep too, considering the bags under his eyes…"

Matt nodded. "But… but how?"

Joe shrugged. "I don't know… You'll have to ask Tai."

Just as Matt wanted to ask another question, he felt someone tugging on his shirt. When he turned and looked down, he saw it was Kari.

"What's wrong with my brother?" She asked in a worried tone. When Matt looked behind her, he saw the rest of the Digidestened, all anxious to know what was wrong with their leader.

"Uhm…" It was starting to get late. They really should be looking for a place to sleep. He quickly made a decision. "Uhm… I'll tell you guys later. We first have to find a save place to sleep."

His plan was welcomed by a wave of protests. "I want to know what's wrong with him now!" Sora piped up. "Yeah!" Mimi supported her.

Matt resisted the urge to growl. "And I will tell you, but not now! We first need to find a save place to sleep!"

And before any of the others could voice another protest, he stood and walked to Tai. He lifted the boy up, and cradled him in his arms. He nearly cried as he felt how light he weighed. He looked so vulnerable now, like he could brake in an instant…

Matt snapped out of his little trance, and started walking. The other followed, albeit reluctantly.

t.b.c.


	2. Shelter and realisations

A/N: Hi! I'm glad you guys like this story so far. I won't keep you all waiting, so here's the second chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still not mine…

**Is it so hard?** (chapter 2)

After an hour or so, they found the perfect place to stay. It was at a little pond close to the trees, which they could use as shelter. Not to far from the trees was a small cave, just big enough for two people, but a perfect place for Tai.

In the cave he would be sheltered from the wind and rain, and any Digimon that might pop up. It also provided a little privacy from the rest of the Digidestened.

Matt carefully lowered Tai to the ground, and pulled his sleeping bag over him. The others had made a campfire near the trees, and where now waiting for him to tell what was wrong with Tai.

He carefully sat down and sighed. Then he started to talk.

"Okay. As you all know, Joe examined Taichi. As far as he can see, Taichi is dehydrated and very thin. He also hasn't got enough sleep the last couple of days…" he trailed off.

"Very thin? What exactly do you mean?" Izzy asked.

Matt grimaced. "Thin as in, you can count his ribs…" he replied softly. He heard the others gasp.

It was silent for a while, then Sora asked: "What are we gonna do?"

"Well…" Joe replied, "Taichi needs lots of rest, and he needs to gain weight. So I suggest we stay here for a while… Yamato?"

Matt looked at Joe, and nodded. "Yeah, sounds like a plan to me."

Suddenly, a small voice got Matt's attention. Kari looked at him, a bit confused. "Yamato… how come my brother didn't get any sleep? And why didn't he eat and drink enough?"

"That's what I want to know too…" Matt answered.

"Well…" Mimi said slowly. She had a somewhat guilty expression on her face. "…after you two had that fight two weeks ago, I've missed a few watches…"

Matt looked at her, confusion on his face. "What do you mean?"

"If I had to stand watch after Taichi… I missed it. He normally comes and wakes me up, but now he didn't. So I missed it." Mimi sighed. "The first time I didn't give it any thought. But it happened again, and again… And when I wanted to ask about it, Taichi shrugged it off, or he didn't want to listen."

Sora nodded. "That happened to me too…" Joe and Izzy nodded too.

"Yeah… If I didn't wake up on my own… it happened once or twice…"

Matt sighed. "Why would he do that? And the eating thing…" He trailed off. The others stayed silent, and stared into the fire. After a few minutes, Matt stood.

"Well, let's get some sleep. I'll stand fist watch."

The others nodded, and went to their sleeping bags. When Matt was sure everyone was fast asleep, he walked over to Tai. He knelt down beside him and stared at him.

It was weird to see Tai this still… He was used to the hyper boy that couldn't sit still for over three seconds. He had never seen that Tai had such a pretty face… Cute little nose, very kissable lips…

Matt shook his head. Where did that came from? He shouldn't think like that… Tai was a boy! He didn't like boys…

But still… he couldn't help looking back, to the thick black lashes that rested on way to pale cheeks… Some strands of Tai's wild brown hair where hanging in his face. Matt reached over, and brushed them away. He was surprised at how soft they where.

Tai moved a little in his sleep, and the headband and goggles that he always whore shifted a bit. Matt suddenly had the intense desire to see Tai without them. He carefully removed them, and laid them at Tai's side.

Tai's hair dropped a little, curling in his neck and around his ears. Some more strands fell in his face, and Matt brushed them away again, loving the feeling of Tai's hair.

He didn't know exactly how long he sat there, trailing his fingers through Tai's hair, staring at him. But when he heard a sound, he snapped out of his trance, and stood to see where the sound was coming from. It turned out to be Izzy, to take over his watch.

As Matt crouched into his sleeping bag, he could still feel Tai's hair sliding between his fingers…

t.b.c.

A/N: Meh… sorry it's so short. I'll try to make longer chapters… Anyway….

**kellyQ: **How things are gonna work out… You'll find out more next chapter.

**Redvind:** Heh… yup. Don't we just all love concerned!Yamato?

**LadyK Na-No-Da:** Look, I continued!

**PrincessSwifty: **::Looks at Matt chasing Tai:: Heh… I continued… Hope you liked it.

**Agumon 2004: **Hmm… looks like Tai isn't alright… but don't worry, Yama will make it all

better… :P

**HIKED: **I updated. I'm glad you like my stories. Hope you're enjoying this one too.

**takuya: **I'm glad you loved it. I hope you like this chapter too…

**nEo-cHaN: **Yeah… poor Tai… ::Huggles Taichi::

**Jeweled Knife: **Heh, don't worry. Yama will make sure Taichi'll be alright again. :P

**Raku Ozarrian princess: **::gives you cookies:: :'3

**Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: **I updated…

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: **Better? Wow… glad you liked it.

**Tyson FoxFlame: **::glomps back:: :D

**Sei Kou Ki: **I continued.

**KeeperOfDestiny: **Thanks! I continued.

**The Sad Blue Demon: **Look, here it is. Hope you like it. ****


	3. A good talk

A/N: Alrighty… I'll try to make this chapter a bit longer than the last one… Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Do you think Yamato would have dated Sora if Digimon would be mine?

**Is it so hard? **(chapter 3)

The next morning, Matt awoke with a start. He blinked, and sat up. He could tell it was still really early, because it was still relatively dark.

He looked around, and spotted Mimi at the campfire, fighting to stay awake. He crawled out of his sleeping bag, and silently walked up to her.

"Good morning Mimi." He greeted. Mimi jumped a little at the sound of his voice, but then she smiled at him.

"Hi Yamato. What are you doing up? The others won't wake for at least another 4 hours…"

Matt sighed. "I couldn't sleep. It looks like you could use some though…"

Mimi yawned. "Yeah… I've feeling really tired."

Matt smiled. "You go get some sleep. I'll take over your watch."

Mimi's eyes lit up. "That's great! Thanks, you're a lifesaver Matt!" She stood and gave him a peck on the cheek. Then she went to her sleeping bag, and fell asleep in seconds.

Matt stood and looked around to make sure everyone was sound asleep. When he was sure everyone was, he walked to Tai.

Everything looked fine, and Matt sighed in relief. He sat down and stared at the boy. In the little morning light that started to seep into the cave, it looked like he was glowing. Matt carefully stroked Tai's cheek, when suddenly, Tai stirred.

Matt jerked his hand away, and watched as Tai's eyes fluttered and then opened.

"Taichi?"

Tai turned his head in Matt's direction. "Yamato?" Tai's voice sounded soft and weak. Slowly a grin spread over Matt's face.

"Thank god, you're awake!" A confused look crossed Tai's face. He tried to sit up, and Matt reached over to help him. "W-what… happened?"

Matt's face turned serious. "You collapsed. You've been unconscious for hours…" Tai didn't respond. He merely turned his head down to stare at his lap.

"Joe examined you…" Matt continued. He saw how Tai tensed, but still said nothing.

"I was there too… I… I saw, Taichi…" Tai started to tremble now.

"Why Taichi? Why aren't you taking care of yourself?" Matt thought his voice sounded a bit desperate, but he didn't care. Tai still didn't respond, and refused to look at him.

"Taichi?" Matt's eyes widened when he heard a chocked back sob. He reached forward, carefully grabbed Tai's chin, and lifted Tai's head so he could look at him. Tears where streaming down his cheeks, and he was biting on his lower lip, trying to stifle the sobs.

Matt blinked, momentarily stunned by the tears. He had never seen Tai cry… Then his limbs started working again, and he pulled Tai into a hug, comforting him the best he could.

Tai was clinging to him, sobbing uncontrollably. It pained Matt deeply to see Tai like this… He pulled Tai as close to him as he could, and rubbed his back gently, trying to soothe him.

"Ssst.." He whispered, "..everything is going to be alright."

After a while the sobs subsided, and Tai calmed down a bit. He was leaning against Matt, a few silent tears running down his wet cheeks.

Suddenly Tai started to speak, very softly though, and Matt had to strain to hear him.

"You where right…"

Matt was confused. "Right about what?" But it seemed like Tai hadn't heard him, and he continued to speak.

"I tried so hard not to make you mad. But then we ran into those Digimon, and you where angry again… I'm sorry. You where right, I'm a worthless leader… So I tried even harder…"

Matt eyes widened in horror while he listened to Tai talking.

"…I let everybody get as much food and sleep as I could… Made sure no evil Digimons where near, and you didn't become angry, so I did something right. And now this… I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…"

Matt was shocked. He had never thought Tai would take all his words so personally… This was all his fault! He carefully grabbed Tai's shoulders, and turned him so he could look in his face. He winced at the amount of pain he saw in Tai's deep brown eyes.

"Listen Taichi… You've got absolutely nothing to be sorry for! I should be the one to say sorry… You're a great leader! I was just angry when I said those things… I never meant them, you have to believe me!"

Tai blinked and a few more tears rolled down his cheeks. "You did mean it… You hate me…"

Matt's eyes widened even more. "No! I don't hate you!", he all but shouted. Tai tensed at Matt's sudden outburst, but relaxed as nothing followed.

"Yes you do. You're always mad at me. I'm never doing anything right. It doesn't matter how hard I try…"

Matt's hart broke at the pain he heard in Tai's voice. He had never known Tai cared so much about what he thought of him.

"Taichi…" he said, "..Taichi, look at me…"

Slowly, brown eyes lifted, and stared into blue.

"I. Don't. Hate. You." Matt said slowly. Tai's eyes widened a bit as he saw that Matt meant it.

"I don't hate you… and I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I… I don't know why I'm always mad at you. I never wanted to be mad at you, and every time I did get mad, I was feeling guilty afterwards…"

Matt's lower lip started to tremble. "I'm so sorry Taichi… I'm bad with the whole emotions thing… I guess… I might have been jealous of you…"

Tai blinked in surprise. "Jealous? Why?"

A tear slid down Matt's cheek. "You where always so happy, like you hadn't a care in the world. And you made friends so easily, while it was so hard for me… But most of all, I envied the connection you have with your sister…"

Matt trailed off, and understanding filled Tai's eyes. He reached our, and pulled Matt into a hug. They sat like that for a few minutes, then Matt pulled back.

"Taichi…" Tai looked up at Matt's serious tone. "…promise me you'll start eating properly again."

Tai nodded, and Matt smiled. "Good. Now get some rest, you need it."

Tai nodded again, and yawned. He slowly crawled back into his sleeping bag. Then he turned his brown orbs back at Matt.

"Yamato?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…"

Matt smiled. "Don't mention it. That's what friends are for…"

Tai's eyes widened a bit, and he mumbled "Friends…" as a small smile spread over his face. Then he yawned again. Matt grinned. Tai was too adorable at times…

t.b.c.

A/N: Euh… what's with me and crying guys… O.o''  Sorry if Taichi and Yamato seem somewhat OOC… :P

**Raku Ozzarian princess****: **Heh, yup… Yama get's to save the day… Hope you liked this chapter.

**Agumon 2004: **Look, I updated. Hope you like this chapter.

**Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu****: **Heh, here's more…

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction****: **You're making me blush… Thanks!

**Sei Kou Ki: **Here's another update… Hope you like it.

**Jeweled Knife: **Heh, you deserved some cookies too. Hope you liked this chapter too.

**kellyQ:  **Here's more. Hope you enjoyed it.

**takuya: **Thanks. Hope this was good too.

**HIKED: **Yup, Yama's always confused… :P Hope you liked the update.

** nEo-cHaN: **I updated. Hope you liked. :D

**Mimi-102: **Here's an update…

**Tyson FoxFlame: **Heh, this chapter is somewhat longer… Hope you liked it.

**Redvind: **Heh… and now we add guilty!Yamato to the mix… :P Hope you enjoyed.

**minnermon:  **Heh, you can almost here Yamato chant: "Here I come to save the day!" :'3

**The sad Blue Demon: **Thanks. I updated.

**Tsuki no Lomelinde****: **Heh, we'll see if Taichi will be alright…

**Minea: **Heh, I updated.

**Windfighter: **:: backs away from Yamato :: I updated… O.o

**Kouji Kun: **Whoot! Thanks. I hope you liked this chapter too.

**Prima-chan: **Heh, thanks.


	4. First step to recovery?

A/N: All righty… I'm updating a little quicker than last time. Here's the next chapter…

**Disclaimer:** You should know by now…

**Is it so hard? **(Chapter 4)

Later that morning, Matt was sitting at the campfire. The other digidestened had awoken too, and now they where having breakfast.

"Yamato, what's wrong? You've been awfully silent this morning…" Sara was looking at him, worry evident on her face.

"Oh… It's… Taichi, he… He woke up when you guys where sleeping…"

Suddenly, everyone's attention was on Matt.

"What happened? What did he say? Why didn't you wake us?"

Matt held up both his hands, and motioned for them all to be silent.

"I know you all want to know what happened, but I can't understand you guys if you're talking all at once…"

"Yamato, why don't you just tell what happened?" Izzy said. Matt nodded.

"Okay…" He sighed, and stared into the fire. "When I went to check on Taichi this morning, he woke up. He was a bit confused at first, wanted to know what had happened. So I told him he'd been unconscious for hours…"

"How did he react?" Sora wanted to know.

"Well… he didn't really… He turned his head down. So I told him Joe examined him, and that I saw what he'd done to himself. I asked him why he didn't take care of himself…"

Matt looked up, and saw the digidestened staring intently at him. Matt swallowed.

"He uh.. he started to cry…" he whispered. He saw the eyes of the others widen. "It's all my fault… He said he didn't want to make me mad… said I was right, that he was a worthless leader…"

Matt cursed himself as guilt overwhelmed him, and tears started to burn in his eyes. He blinked them away furiously, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It isn't your fault Yamato…" Sora said. Matt shook his head. "It is! He said he didn't want to make me angry. After the last fight he tried even harder, giving everything away, and forgetting about himself. He thought I hated him…"

Izzy shook his head. "Yamato… You weren't the only one who made it hard on Taichi. We all did…"

It was silent for a while. Then Kari walked over to Matt and sat next to him. Matt looked at her and she smiled.

"Yamato… did you know my brother really likes you?"

Matt shook his head. "I didn't… I knew he didn't hate me, but I never knew he valued my words so much…"

Kari smiled sadly. "He told me once he wanted to be your friend, but that he was afraid of how you'd react."

Matt smiled sadly, and turned his eyes back to the fire. Suddenly, Kari spoke up again. "Yama, you'll take care of my brother, right?" She looked at him with hope shining in her eyes, and Matt nodded.

"Of course, I owe it to him."

Joe coughed, and everyone looked at him. "Uh, well… Taichi should really drink and eat something now." Matt nodded.

"I'll wake him. Sora, can you get Taichi something to eat?" Sora nodded, and Matt walked over to Tai. He sat down next to him, and ran his hand through Tai's hair.

"Taichi, wake up…"

Tai's hand twitched, and a few seconds later, Tai blinked his eyes open.

"Yama?"

Matt smiled. "Good morning Taichi… You really need to eat something, and the others are really anxious to see you awake."

Tai nodded nervously, and slowly sat up. At that moment, Sara walked towards them with some soup, Kari walking beside her. They where closely followed by the rest of the digidestened. Taichi smiled shyly at them.

As soon as she saw her brother was awake, Kari ran to him. "Taichi!" She hugged him fiercely, and he smiled.

"Hey sis…" Kari let go of her brother, and looked at him worriedly. "You feel really hot…"

Matt, who was still sitting next to Tai, raised his eyebrows. He reached over and placed a hand on Tai's forehead. Then his eyes widened slightly.

"Shit Taichi, you're burning up! Why didn't you tell?" Tai shrugged, and didn't answer.

"Taichi…" Matt pleaded, "…please tell me when something is wrong. You have to get better." Tai looked up at him, and nodded.

Matt smiled, relieved. "Great! Now, you have to eat a little…" He grabbed the bowl of soup Sara had brought, and looked up at Tai.

"Can you eat by yourself, or do you need help?" Tai blushed slightly. "I don't know…" He answered softly.

Matt saw Tai was trembling slightly, and made a decision. "Let me help…" He picked up the spoon, and held it in front of Tai's face. Tai's blush deepened, but he let Matt feed him.

When the bowl was halfway empty, Tai groaned and shook his head.

"No more…" Matt frowned. "But you need to eat, gain weight…"

Tai shivered, and turned pleading eyes on Matt. "Please Yama… No more. I'm starting to feel sick…"

At that moment Joe, who had been watching them, kneeled down next to them, a bowl in his hands. "It's okay Yamato. We have to take it easy. His stomach isn't used to lots of food right now. We'll give him a little more each time."

Yamato nodded, and reluctantly put away the bowl with the remaining soup. Tai sighed, and lay down again, looking tired.

"So…" Joe said, "I heard Yamato talking about a fever. Let me take a look…" He put down the bowl, reached over and placed a hand on Tai's forehead, like Matt had done. Then he frowned.

"Hmm, you where right. He's having a fever all right. His temperature is way to high. We need to take it down." He turned to Matt, and gave him the bowl he had been carrying, which contained water and a cloth.

"Take the cloth, and use it to cool Taichi off… But don't pull the blankets off of him. He needs to stay warm."

Matt almost had to laugh at that, but he knew what Joe meant and he nodded. Joe stood, smiled at Matt, and then turned to join the others at the campfire.

Matt turned his attention back at Tai, who had closed his eyes. He grabbed the cloth, and placed it on Tai's forehead. Tai opened one eye, and looked at Matt.

"That feels nice…" he whispered. Matt smiled at him, and Tai closed his eye again.

After a while, Tai's breathing evened out. Matt smiled down at the sleeping Tai, and went to get Kari. He gave her the bowl of water, and sat her down next to Tai.

"Call me when he needs something, okay?" Kari nodded, and stroked her brother's hair.

Matt walked back to the campfire, and gazed into the flames, pondering what to do now. Then he remembered he had to check if there was enough wood to keep the fire burning, and he also had to know if there was enough food.

The food was no problem at the moment. They had enough for another three days. But there wasn't enough wood, so he needed two people to search firewood.

He wanted to keep Joe here, in case something went wrong with Tai, and in his mind, Kari and T.K. weren't even an option. So Izzy, Sora and Mimi where left. He quickly made a decision.

"Izzy, Mimi? Could you please search some more firewood? There isn't much left…"

Izzy nodded, but Mimi started to whine. "But Yamato! I'm tired, and my hands get dirty if I have to pick up wood! And my feet are hurting…"

Matt closed his eyes. He wasn't a very patient person, and Mimi's whining wasn't doing any good. "Mimi.." he ground out, "..stop whining and just GO!" He opened his eyes and glared at her.

Mimi blinked in surprise, but then glared back at him. Then she turned, and marched into the woods without another word. Izzy quickly went after her.

When they where out of sight, Sora looked at him. "That wasn't very nice of you, Yamato…"

Matt grumbled something, and then he stood. "I'm going to check the surroundings. I won't be long." He walked away before Sora could say another word.

He stayed away longer than was necessary. He couldn't spot a Digimon anywhere, but he needed to calm down. He was still angry. Was this what Tai had to deal with every day?

He wondered around, kicking rocks away. After about an hour, he slowly walked back towards camp.

When he was almost there, he heard Kari's panicked voice. "Joe… JOE!!"

His eyes widened, and panic settled in his stomach. Something was wrong with Tai…

t.b.c.

A/N: Heh… I'm in an evil mood today. I just read on the net that George Eads and Jorja Fox are fired from CBS… It's not confirmed by CBS yet, but it's pissing me off greatly. CSI needs Sara and Nick…

Anyway…back to Digimon. I hope you guys like this chapter. I tried to update sooner than last time, and I even managed to make a longer chapter. Go me… :P

**The sad Blue Demon****: **As you can see, it wasn't the last chapter. There will follow at least two after this one…

**gato-girl09****: **Heh, glad you liked it!

**BishounenSenshiTaurus****: **::prods Yuffie:: Yeah, where did you come from?

**Redvind****: **Heh, don't worry… I'm not finished yet…

**PrincessSwifty****: **Yes, yes… they are very cute… I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**Tyson FoxFlame: **Wow, lot's of glompage going on… wiee!! ::glomps back::

**nEo-cHaN: **Thanks.

**HIKED****: **The yamachi is coming, don't worry…

**kellyQ****: **Well… here's the next chapter. There will at least be two more.

**evilchild666****: **I updated faster then last time…. I hope you'll like this chapter as well.

**Agumon 2004****: **Thanks. You're making me blush…

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction****: **The yamachi will be coming soon… and don't damage Yama to badly, otherwise he can't save Taichi again… ;)

**Jeweled Knife****: **Wow… O.o You've officially written the longest review ever on one of my fics… ::hands you lots of candy:: Glad you liked the chapter. Here's a new one!

**takuya****: **Here's another update…

**Windfighter****: **Squall!! ::glomps Squall::

**Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu****: **Here's more!

**Raku Ozzarian princess****: **Nope, things aren't always easy…


	5. Problems in paradise

N/A: ::avoids tomato's:: Uhm.. I've been kind of busy lately, so I hadn't time to update… But, here I am, and here's a new chapter!

Also, I'm very happy that both George Eads and Jorja Fox are back on CSI, so I'm happy again… :P Anyway, let's start!

**Disclaimer: **::sighs:: Not mine…

**Is it so hard?** (chapter 5)

Something was wrong with Tai…

Matt raced the last part towards the camp. When he arrived, Joe was hanging over Tai.

"Joe! What's going on?"

Joe leaned back, and Matt could see Tai. He lay curled up, clutching his stomach, eyes squeezed shut. He was softly moaning and whimpering, clearly in pain.

"I was afraid of this…" Joe said, ".. it's like I said. His stomach isn't used too much food yet. We have to take this really slow."

Matt nodded, and sat next to Tai.

"Isn't there anything we can do now?" He asked Joe. Joe shook his head, and Matt sighed miserable. He hated to see Tai in pain…

He stroked his hand trough Tai's hair, in an attempt to sooth him. Tai opened his eyes, and looked up.

"Yama…" He whispered, "…it hurts…"

"I know." Matt said softly. He continued to stroke his hand trough Tai's hair. Tai closed his eyes again, but seemed somewhat calmer.

Matt looked up when he heard footsteps. Sora came walking up to them, holding an empty bowl. She set it down next to Matt.

"How's he doing?" She asked. Matt shrugged.

"A little better, I think. I don't know…" Sora nodded, then she turned her eyes toward Matt.

"It'll be alright."

She stared intensely at Matt for a few seconds, then she turned and walked away. Matt stared after her, frowning. He got the feeling she meant more with those words…

His musing was interrupted when he felt Tai move a little. When he looked down, he saw Tai had turned even paler than before.

"Taichi?" He whispered.

Tai opened his eyes, and looked at him. He seemed to have some trouble focussing, and when he spoke, his voice was really soft.

"Y-yama… I think I'm gonna be sick…"

Matt eyes widened.

"Shit.."

He quickly got up, and helped Tai sit up. He grabbed the bowl Sora had left at his side, and placed it on Tai's lap.

He was just in time. Tai leaned forward, and vomited violently. Matt sat behind him, rubbing Tai's back.

Hot tears where streaming down Tai's cheeks, and he was shivering like a leaf. His throat hurt, and he was feeling a bit light headed.

Joe walked up to them, bringing some water for Tai to drink. Tai took it gratefully, washing away the foul taste as quickly as possible. It also soothed his sore throat a little.

Then he leaned against Matt, exhausted. Matt wrapped his arms around him, absentmindedly rubbing Tai's arms.

"Well…" Joe stated, "… He at least got rid of the stomach ache…" He coughed, and then turned serious.

"We'll have to take smaller steps… giving Tai just a little bit to eat, each time a bit more. It's important he drinks enough though."

Matt nodded. "Al right. I'll make sure of that…"

Joe smiled. "Great. Tai needs some rest now. And be sure to keep him warm."

Matt nodded again, and Joe walked back to the others. Matt turned his attention back to Tai, and noticed he was still shivering.

"Are you cold?" He whispered. Tai nodded his head. "Yeah.."

Matt wanted to stand up, so Tai could lie down again, but Tai grabbed his sleeve.

"Yama…"

Matt turned his head, and looked straight into Tai's brown orbs. They where looking pleadingly at him.

"Don't… don't leave me…" he whispered.

Matt frowned. "What?"

Tai started to shake a little, and when he started to speak it was so soft, Matt had to lean in to hear him.

"I don't want to be alone… I hate to be alone.."

Matt smiled slightly. "Don't worry Taichi. I'll stay with you. Just let me grab my sleeping bag, okay?"

Tai nodded, and Matt got up. He quickly got his sleeping bag, and placed it next to Tai. Then he made sure Tai was securely tucked in, and sat down next to him, stroking his hair again.

Tai closed his eyes, but the shivering wouldn't stop. Matt frowned, and lifted Tai's sleeping bag a little to grab a hand.

Then his eyes widened. They where freezing! He quickly laid his hand on Tai's forehead. He still had a fever… this was to weird….

"Taichi…" Tai opened his eyes, and looked at him. "…you're still freezing, aren't you?"

Tai blushed a little, then nodded. Matt smiled reassuringly at him, then looked around. How to get Tai warm again? His eye fell on his own sleeping bag, and his eyes lit up. Someone had once told him that the best way to get someone warm was with body heat. He only hoped Tai wouldn't mind though…

He looked back at Tai. "I think I know a way to warm you up… but I'll need your sleeping bag for a minute, okay?"

Tai nodded, and slowly crawled out of it. Once the warmth the sleeping bag provided was gone, he started to shake so hard his teeth where clattering.

Matt quickly zipped the two bags open, and then zipped them together. He lay them down, and helped Tai to crawl back in. Then he crawled in it too, and pulled Tai into his arms.

Tai was facing him, and Matt could see his stunned expression, and the light blush that was crawling onto his cheeks.

"This alright?" he whispered. Tai nodded and, to Matt's surprise, snuggled closer to him. He smiled, and pulled Tai even closer.

Soon, they where both asleep.

t.b.c.

A/N: Squeee!! I hope this chapter made up for the long wait… :P

Many thanks to: Shiroi Prayer, Kouji Kun, Windfighter, goku-the-saru, Nobody, Tinanit Enozym, Redvind, Sei Kou Ki (Micky Mouse? O.o), ElectraBlack, evilchild666, nEo-cHaN, gato-girl09, PrincessSwifty, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, Tyson FoxFlame, Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu, HIKED, Raku Ozzarian princess (Heh… Yama: 'Here I come to save the day!!" ::sticks out hand:: ), Agumon 2004, kellyQ, minnermon, takuya and BishounenSenshiTaurus ( ::waves at everyone;; ).


	6. A good talk 2: Confessions

**Disclaimer: **Yess!! I own everything!!! ….not. ;;;

**Is it so hard? **(chapter 6)

When Matt woke up, it was dark. He blinked his eyes, not remembering where he was for a second, then looked into Tai's sleeping face. Matt smiled. Tai looked so cute…

Then his stomach decided to let itself know, growling loudly, and he grimaced. He hadn't eaten anything since that morning. He slowly sat up, careful not to wake Tai. Tai whimpered in his sleep, and Matt brushed his hand through Tai's hair.

Matt quickly stood and walked towards the campfire, where he spotted Izzy.

"Hey Yamato…"

He turned, and smiled at Izzy. "Hey, just grabbing something to eat. I'm starving…" Izzy nodded, and Matt grabbed some fruit from one of the bags. He was just about to head back to Tai, when Izzy spoke again.

"So… how's he doing?" Izzy's voice sounded worried. Matt wasn't surprised by that. Izzy almost hadn't seen Tai since they came here. The rest where giving him and Tai an awful lot of privacy, now that he thought of it…

"He's doing better, I think…"

Izzy smiled back. "I hope so…" Matt nodded, and shuffled his feet.

"Well… I better head back.."

Izzy nodded, and Matt quickly went back to Tai, stuffing berries in his mouth on the way. When he reached Tai, he saw that he was shaking again. Matt frowned, and grabbed one of Tai's hands. They where warm to the touch…

Then he heard Tai whimper again. He looked up, and his eyes widened. Tai was crying in his sleep… He shuddered and whimpered again.

"No… I'm sorry…"

Matt frowned. Tai was having a nightmare…

"Yama… please, don't hate me…" Matt sighed sadly as a pang of guild went through him. He reached out to shake Tai awake. Then Tai said something that made Matt freeze in his tracks.

"Yama, no! I love you…. Don't hate me, please!"

Tai loved him? That couldn't be… but he just heard Tai say it. It could be just the dream, but those words had to come from somewhere right?

Matt was jerked out of his thoughts as Tai whimpered yet again. Matt grabbed Tai's shoulders and shook him gently. Tai gasped, then his eyes snapped open.

"Taichi… are you alright?" Matt asked softly. Tai stared at him, and slowly shook his head as his eyes filled with tears. Matt reached out and pulled Tai into a tight hug, letting him cry on his shoulder. He rubbed his back, trying to get him to calm down. Eventually, Tai's crying subsided, and he sat up, sniffling slightly.

"Are you alright now?" Matt asked Tai gently. Tai nodded. "Yeah.."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I… I don't know…" Tai looked down, staring at his hands.

"You where talking in your sleep…" Matt said softly. He needed to find out if Tai meant what he'd said. He looked over at Tai, and saw he'd tensed. Then he heard him whisper: "What did I say?"

"You mentioned my name. You begged me not to hate you…" Matt went silent for a while, then he added in a whisper, "…and you said you loved me."

Tai tensed even more, and then started to shake.

"Taichi…. Tell me about the dream…"

When Tai started to speak, his voice was soft and hoarse.

"I…. You and I… we where f-fighting again. You where shouting…" Matt heard him choke back a sob, and he knew Tai was crying again.

"But I couldn't keep it a s-secret. I needed to tell you the t-truth… You hated me…"

It was silent after that. Matt waited a while for more, but when it was clear there would come no more, he asked: "And what was the truth?"

Tai shook his head, sobbing silently. Matt started to get a bit angry. He desperately needed to know…

"Dam nit Taichi! Did you mean it!? I need to know!"

Tai flinched at Matt's tone.

"I'm s-sorry… p-please don't hate me!"

Tai's breathing had quickened, and he was gasping for air now. Matt's anger flowed away within seconds, and he felt extremely guilty. He grabbed Tai's shoulders, so he could look him in the face.

He had turned really pale, and tears where streaming down his face. Matt realised he was having a panic- attack.

"Shit.. Taichi! Calm down… I don't hate you. Really! Please, just breathe! Just calm down and breathe…"

Slowly, Tai's breathing returned to normal, and Matt smiled, relieved.

"That's it… just breathe…"

Tai was looking down at his hands again, and Matt could see the tears dripping from his face. Matt gently grabbed Tai's face in both his hands, using his thumbs to brush his tears away. But they kept falling, and Matt smiled sadly.

He stared into Tai's gorgeous brown eyes, and said softly: "Taichi… I could never ever hate you. You have to believe me… Do you believe me?"

Tai stared back into his eyes, like he was searching for something. Apparently he found what he had searched for, cause he slowly nodded his head.

"Good. Now tell me… I really need to know this… did you mean what you said?"

Tai took in a shuddered breath, then he whispered, "Yes… I meant it…"

It was silent after that. They stared at each other, brown meeting blue. Then slowly, a smile started to form on Matt's face, as his eyes filled with tears. Tai's eyes widened, but Matt shook his head.

"Ssst… no need to be afraid." Matt was grinning now, as a tear slid down his face. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that…" he whispered. Tai had a confused look on his face, as he watched Matt cry and smile at the same time. It made him grin even wider.

"I love you too, baka."

Tai's eyes widened again, and he was gaping like a fish. "You… you…" he stuttered. Matt nodded, and drew Tai into a hug.

"Yeah…" he whispered. "I love you too…" He felt Tai tightening his grip on him, and they sat like that for a long time, basking in each other's warmth.

After a while Matt leaned back a bit, so he could look Tai in the face, and brushed back some of that wonderfully soft hair. Tai blushed and murmured: "God… you must think I'm a terrible cry-baby by now…" Matt grinned. "But you're my cry-baby…"

Then that wonderfully lopsided grin appeared on Tai's face, the grin Matt had fallen in love with. He couldn't resist. He slowly leaned forward, and when Tai didn't object, he closed the gab between them. His eyes slid close as he sealed Tai's lips with his own. Tai melted into the kiss, and he sighed.

Matt was surprised at how soft Tai's lips where, and at how sweet he tasted. He couldn't get enough of it, and when they had to part for breath, he wanted to dive right back in.

"Wow…" he panted, and Tai smiled shyly. Then he yawned. Matt brushed a hand through Tai's hair.

"Are you tired?" Tai nodded.

"Okay… let's get some sleep then." He crawled back into the sleeping bag, and pulled Tai tight against him. Tai sighed contently, and dropped off like a rock.

Matt couldn't sleep though. He couldn't believe Tai was finally his. But he was holding his angel in his arms, and he was absolutely real… Matt pulled him even tighter against him, and buried his head in Tai's neck, breathing in deeply.

He was addicted, he was sure of it. But he didn't mind. He smiled, and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to accompany Tai in sleep…

Owari

* * *

A/N: So… that's it folks. A nice long chapter to end all this Yamachi goodness. :D Many thanks to all the people who so loyally reviewed:

Prima-chan (Heh, thanks. ), minea, Raku Ozzarian princess, gato-girl09, SnakeMistress, HIKED, takuya, PrincessSwifty (::giggles::), nEo-cHaN, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, Tsuki no Lomelinde, T. FoxFlame, kellyQ (did you get my mail?), evilchild666, Windfighter, Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu, Agumon 2004 and Baby-chan.

Until next time!


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